alcohol, a bed, physical contact and doctors...

its thursday and im bored. today havent go out yet or seen anyone. this excludes the guys at my hse this earlyyy morning and anthony stayed a lil longer till 6.30. man was he tired or wad. all of us couldnt wake him up at all. anyhow woke up late today and thankfully didnt kena marah. dad's not at home meaning i have all the cars to drive at my will. muahahaha. speaking of cars, today finally banged someone. not really bang. a bump is more precise. a teensy weensy bump w/o scratches at all. God i got so scared i wrecked mums car so soon. thankfully the worst was not at sight so i managed to get my arse out from the fire this time.

for those who asked me bout my msn nick, im very sorry i didnt reply cuz i chose not to apparently and that it wouldnt be good. nothing happened at all actually and it was jus a statement i put up. not too seek attention but jus being playful. and u know wad? i actually gave it a thought. i have to be honest. i am not a good person or maybe i am. im just supressing all my bad inside me. i didnt give it back to God but i kept it in me. why so? i dont know. maybe im a person of the world. very into wads in the culture and society. living the riches and thru the fame. surrounded by ppl adoring you or by beautiful women. wad more? if life was like a movie im gonna have a hard time picking which movie. i find the best things in this world is when u have a combination of money, cars, women, power and dreams. dreams to visualize urself there and the will to do wadeva it takes to get there and it aint gonna be pretty. but coming down to earth. i guess i finally realise wad i want, wad im capable of and wad kills me. i want a companion. someone who understands me is all i ask for. well with long hair la and yes, im talking bout female for goodness sake. i want a women, the complete package. not some 18 year old girl who wants to be happy and pampered 24/7. someone who makes me laugh, cries with me, works with me and clicks with me. knows wad i want and when i want it. of course i can and am capable of doing that in return. trust me on that. well, i guess being 19 is too soon to find one like that. ppl keep telling me why settle for 2nd best? or why shouldnt i go out and find 1 hot model material girl and get her. now that would be the apple of everyones eyes. ive got time, maybe? but i certainly dont have the patience. wadeva it is, i saw screw it. if really there was someone i could get no matter who it was. it has to be lilo. not the lilo and stitch that lil lilo girl. a certain lilo of mine that i know. shes 8.5/10 of my requirements and shes still single. aint that a bonus? but fu*k it. im lost in myself now.

really freaking bored now. i wanna go to the beach with mel or doreen and sit and talk all night. sighz. 1's in melbourne 1's in penang. wad the heck man!!! and all my other ji mui's are missing all over the globe. seriously.

a thousand miles...

its been a long time since my last entry. many things happened. i mean real major things. too many that i dont know where to start now. feeling tired now cuz i was travelling loads the past 3 days to penang, within penang, coming back to kl and within kl. got home bout 11 after a good buffet dinner with the bookies and bookie creative director. im still amused by the term bookie for us attributes member. all thanks to erin. haha. gosh im so not gonna eat salmon and/or sushi for the next 2 weeks minimum. i think make it 3. God i had sooooo much of them and there was even left overs from erin's 2 plate and terence's half plate. i bet su min must be grumpng inside why i left so so much. sorry boss!!! thankfully su min has no time to read blogs so im pretty safe here if i talk bad bout him. hehe. but im not that bad. not gonna stab a boss i have deep respects toward. [ i feel there's grammar error in that sentence. hmmm ] here's a short recap of wads over so far.

1. exams over officially last friday. very happy bout it that i've manage to go thru it w/o much headache. did my best, or at least in almost all papers and just gonna leave the rest unto God. its those lil miracles u n i pray for in life. i must confess i cheated in my last paper - manufacturing processes. very sorry bout it >.<

2. went to penang for a short holiday with jason and met up with doreen and eunice [ not my leader lee choo. scary tu ]. i found out eunice is a very very nice person!! pretty also and very friendly. and got loadsa advice from her bout relationships which i think she was speaking thru me that afternoon. good thing jason slept so he didnt hear anything. haha!! lotsa food got digested by me EXCEPT nasi kandar. dang!! was the one thing dad asked me to try but the shop was closed. really sad bout it but at least i tried everything else. they even have this thing called roti babi. i was like wad on earth is a roti babi? with a weird face that kind. but then it turned out to be something really good!!! gosh i should bring the recipe back to sabah and make a fortune outta it. haha

3. gonna go back sabah @ 2nd hometown in couple of hours time. looking forward to it since im not gonna see lotsa ppl. yes u got me right there. i am tryina avoid some ppl here. college friends which i got really annoyed with and some other ppl. but then gonna miss church friends lots!!! especially the bookies, doreen & gang. argh!! wanna come back soon but dunno when. oh well.

thats all from me for now. wanna keep it short and simple. full details on the next epi...

anakainosis

i decided to change my blog totally so i end up removing the chatter box. but then i felt that i should remove it anyway so there it goes. after a long sleep felt much better. 99% grumpiness gone for good but then kinda weary now. must be my body tryina adjust to this sudden change. hate biology neway so don care.

man im damn hungry now. wads with this stomach getting hungry so fast and urge to feel food every few hours. maybe i should;ve been a cook instead of an engineer. that way i can cook all kinds of food, dont get bored with the same routine food everyday and less the opportunity being hungry.

rev ulf elkman (not too sure how to spell his name. he's sweedish neway) is here this weekend so was thinking going both sat and sunday service so i dont have to rush here and there for serving and can enjoy wad he brings. but then ive got a c++ programming paper on monday which im not ready at all. was thinking to cheat geh to JUST PASS it but then when i saw the venue in sports complex my heart sank. it means hundreds of ppl sitting together for that paper and there will be tons of lecturers up and down left and right. so im pretty dead i think. haha. see how la. i need a small lil miracle now.

k off to buy food now. tummy making funny gestures now. eeekkk!!!

sleepless mornings

weeee....another paper down with 4 more to go. wee!!! so happy AS IF. totally screwed up my paper so i dont know wads left of it. i cant believe i kept on believing wad the lecturer said. "there will be formula provided" but all i get was a freaking permitivitty = 8.854 x 10^-12 which i ALREADY MEMORISED!! sigh. great way to blow ur bubble at the ver dramatic moment. so there was i for 2 hrs sitting in a VERY cold college hall doing my paper and used several wrong formula's so i guess i just lost the whole part. also i need a new pair of glasses since i didnt read there was more information give bout the question making me lose 13/25 marks. not bad huh? oh well, the list goes on so my chances of failing has failed but im just gonna leave it to Him to sort it out. ive done my part and im jus doing additional by grunting. hey, thats why we have a blog k? im tired that makes me grumpy, hungry but my stomach is so sick i wanna puke and i screwed my paper jus now. so im not quite the happy fella now to be honest. but then wads the point? no one understands. no one in the family does engineering except dad. that also from a different era so no one understands the pressure of an engineering course. its not those fun-fun kind public relations course or finance marketing. hey be grateful u guys are more of the practical kind or worst, just MEMORISE STUFFS!!! we have to know like God knows how many stuffs and apply in everything. buzz off k? also there aint any nice caring friends out there who cares anyway. they all wanna use u when ur applicable to them. i.e, "hey can i loan rm10? thanks man, ur da bomb =)" sweet line eh? how can u say no? even no money also will redirect to someone who has money. thats wad u call great friends. lemme rephrase it, f-wens. they're the sweetest =) . im done complaining now, round 2 later maybe. i need rest before i breakdown....

=) =( =P =|

i feel very stupid now. dumb with the drooling face and an empty mind. totally blank being left or right side of the brain. it really sucks. tryina study but i cant find the drive to do it. its like after maths paper everythings over. well it was just the beginning but too bad my eyes didnt perceive it that way. had the inspiration that i needed just in time before maths paper and everything went well for that part but its gone now. 5 more papers and 1 of the major ones is just 2 days away and where am i in preparation? nowhere. oh well, guess i gotta buck up and get ready to face the music of failure once again. well to be precise 3rd time in a year's time. feel like cursing now but i feel like im "legally" not able to do it since i "signed a contract" not to repeat ma dark side nemore. but it really pisses me off that lately everything hasnt turn out to wad i hoped to be. its like u want a peppermint choc chip ice cream but u get a peppermint choc rice ice cream instead. theres a diff in it F.Y.I. want to go meeting on last sat but woke up with food poisoning, followed by heavy rain ending up with no dinner, got also but no more appetite to eat. then a back pain all of a sudden and feel like puking after eat chi cheong fun for supper. i mean for goodness sake chi cheong fun is so light!!! gosh. next day woke up with the whole cell group arrive in church THEN ONLY ASK ME "kelvin, where r u? u following us back today?" i was like, !@#$%^^&&**(()))&%$@@ i told u ppl TWICE dammit, T-W-I-C-E that im following u guys go and yet u all forgot all about me. i end up wasting rm20 to take a cab to church. hey rm20 is a lot ok? can last for a few days and my dad DONT PRINT money if thats wad ur wondering. now i end up in a financial pithole once again. dammit!!! i still dun understand why i smiled back and said ITS OKIE when i saw u guys. pift!! thankfully i didnt follow u guys back if not...and i had a good japanese meal with kher lit instead. i kinda like salmon now. feel like eating it. next time i gotta bring more money!!!! not for more salmon tho, for special situations. feel very bad now i didnt fulfill her very last wish for the day with that necklace. dammit kelvin!! the past few days has just been nerve wrecking till the very last one in my neck and i just dont have the energy to fight on anymore. with all this challenges of everyday life and more i jus feel like giving up so many things and wish i can just have a 2 months holidays and sit down and see tv, online and chill out peacefully at home. jut to get my head all right again. damn everything else happening in the world be it katrina or tsunami or haley comet fall directly upon my room. i dont give a damn now! im just tired with all this crap and i wan out. O-U-T u hear me? reality check, aint gonna happen. so might as well go on. hols in 2 weeks time and to be honest, i dont look forward to it. im weird, im dumb, im wadeva u wanna call me. i too dont know myself so go ahead and please urself while u can =). dont even know wad im blogging now so couldnt care less neway. its a good thing not many ppl read it so i can post anything i want here. even those who read forgets to read as time pass by. good for me tho, less public neway. anyway from 3.24am ... im off to bed. feel like skipping cell again tonight. bleargh

why?

im in so so much pain now. not too much la but just painful now. dunno wads wrong with my tummy. plus i wanna puke too. ughhh...need healing. took 1 tablet so hopefully as i wake up im wokie dokie 100%. got a long and important and tensed day ahead of me. no im not talking bout exams cuz its SUNDAY but something else. uh-oh. but im not telling neway. haha. i drove su min's car just now and that was fun. i like his brakes. has that good "feeeeeeelll" bout it. susah wan describe la but it was goooddddd. man i wish my future car has brakes like that. sei lorr...wan blog now tummy semakin pain. argh!!! had ma maths paper yesterday and it went well. went better tan i predicted cuz i there was 2 questions on probability and binomial theory which i expect to score in it and minimal integration and differentiation. so everything went well and hopefully can score an A. well, got story behind it la on why such thing can happen. details another day but its all possible cuz of Him. phillipians 4:13 arr? i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. if salah soli arrr...my MV's are pretty bad. hehe. gonna go sleep now. need some rest...

btw, just some random stuffs here,

-why do cows drink milk?
-why do we sleep with a pillow?
-what is TIME?
-a durian and watermelon fall on ur head. which one painful?

answers pls ppl...hehe

exam begins

maths paper is 11hrs away and im not asleep yet. amazing...instead im blogging here at 3am. sigh, signs of an amazing student dont u think so? haha. suffering from lack of confidence now to face ma maths paper. read and memorise all i need but just cant seem to click in my head. need some inspiration from someone or something. something really fortuitous if possible. feeling hungry now rather so while waiting for my mee to cook im blogging here. im seriously not alright now cuz who gets hungry at 3am and dont wanna sleep? besides me that is. hmmm....

i need some suggestion, what colour is nice to dye for? besides the normal brown that almost EVERYONE has. wild ideas acceptable here =)

...

[1] I have read a book before
[2] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[ ] I have been to Canada.
[3] I have been on some sort of sports team.
[4] I have watched cartoons for hours before
[5] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[6] have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[ ] have been snowboarding/skiing.
[7] I have played ping pong.
[ ] I swam in the ocean.*seaside??*
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[8] I have seen fireworks.
[9] I have seen a shooting star.
[ ] I have seen a meteor shower.
[10] I have almost drowned.
[11] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
[12] I have listened to one cd over & over & over again.
[ ]I have had stitch(es).
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[13] I have stayed up til 6am doing homework /projects.
[ ] I currently have a job.
[ ] I have been ice skating.
[14] I have been rollerblading.
[15] I have fallen flat on my face.
[16] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[ ] I have been in a fist fight.
[17] I have played videogames/com for more than 3 hours straight.
[18] I have watched The Power Rangers before.
[19] I do / have attended Church/Mosque regularly.
[20] I have played truth or dare.
[21] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[22] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[23] I've called someone stupid. And meant it.
[24] I've been in a verbal argument.
[25] I've cried in school.
[26] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[ ] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[ ] I've swam on a team.
[ ] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.
[ ] I've climbed a rock wall before.
[27] I've lost more than $20.
[28] I've called myself an idiot
[29] I've called someone else an idiot
[30] I've cried myself to sleep
[31] I've had (or have) pets.
[32] I've owned a Spice Girls cd. and or tape
[33] I've owned a Britney Spears cd
[34] I've owned an N*Sync cd
[35] I've owned a Backstreet Boys cd
[ ] I've mooned someone
[36] I've sworn at someone in authority
[37]I've been in the school newspaper / insights.
[ ] I've been on TV
[38] I've eaten sushi.
[39] I've been on the other side of a waterfall
[40] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[41]I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[42] I've watched the 3 Stooges at least once.
[43]I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[44]I've watched Looney Tunes before.
[ ]I've been stuffed into a locker
[45] I've been called a geek.
[46]I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[47]I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[48]I've met a celebrity / music / TV artist.
[49]I've written poetry.
[ ]I've been arrested
[50]I've been attracted to someone much older than me
[51]I've been tickled till I've cried
[ ]I've tickled someone else until they cried
[52] I've had / have siblings
[53]I've been to a rock concert
[54] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it
[55]I've been in a play
[ ] i've been picked last in gym class
[ ] I've been picked first in gym class or so
[ ] Ive been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[56] I've cried in front of my friends
[57]I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages
[ ] I've freaked out over a sports game
[58] I’ve vomited in public
[ ] I've washed someone else’s vomit
[ ] I’ve ran away
[ ] I’ve had a stalker
[59] I've had a fight with someone on txt
[ ] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face
[60] I've been in a car accident (my 1st and last)
[61] I've forgiven someone who has done something bad to me
[ ] I've personally seen someone die (dont think i can face the world if so)
[62] I've been confronted by a police officer but got away (fiona!!!)
[63] I've lost someone who meant the world to me ( still sad bout it )

this was a bulletin i found in friendster. just stuffs ppl do when they're bored or so. this one looks most appealing to me. and as i do it i realise theres some things in life ive not done yet and prolly wont be able to do it nemore. oh well, i still know i had a good teenage life and still having a GREAT ONE. i mean wad else can beat having good friends around u, being able to serve Him, freedom from parents (u can forget bout my aunt next block in the condo) and freedom of clothes meaning i dun need ta wear uniforms to college. haha.

i got these from angeline just now. i think they're uber-dorable!!! so now end up i want one for myself. hahah. no im not a sissy if ur thinking bout that. geez.


its kher lit's bday tomorrow in like an hour or so so just wanna give a big happy brithday shout out to her from here. all the best in studies + good health cuz ur always sick + financial blessin upon ya. hehe.

off to study again, maths paper is 1 day away and im starting to worry now. NO!!!

too near?

scared too be too near to Jesus?

that line has been on my head since sunday when the pretty usher came by me and asked me to sit in front and i hesitated. i still end up changing seats tho but this has been on my head till now. i was thinking i can make this into a sermon actually. got few pointers i could elaborate on. haha, we'll see how. listening to mighty to save and jay's new album now. mighty to save is a lil lower than wad i expected but it has some great songs which is really good. jay's new album pula like usual. he tries to rap a bit more in it but still so so only. not bad la.

maths paper is on friday and im just half prepared i think? managed to cover the basics and some other chapters so should be okay. just that this sem i didnt do any of the tutorials so lack the confidence in doing the paper on friday. i know my formulas but still a lil stuttering when doing the questions. just gonna do ma best and leave the rest unto Him. =P .cell's on tonight and its combined. so happy combined cuz i miss seeing raymond and may shen they all in cell. been months and months ady didnt have cell together =( .looking forward to it!!! thats all for today, gotta go and continue on ma maths so i can be fully prepared. aiming an A ok?

back from emerge

it feels good to be back home in my own room. meaning the one in setapak bah. haha. 3 days im technology deprived and i miss my laptop so so much. i knew i should have brought it along for emerge. argh. next year then. it has been a really tiring and exhausting 3 days 3 nights during emerge with the 3rd night the wort. suppose to be most relaxed cuz we end up finishing service at 11 then everyone left bout 1am++ but i end up staying there till 5am or so helping them to move stuffs from scc to church and back again. wargh!!!! well it was good also to helped out and i end up knowing andrew and david. ok...enuff intor for now...heres some pics i manage to snap. well, they arent much since i was here and there while i forgot to snap when the oportunity came. sigh....



thats me and kriz. can see the difference of a 0.3megapixel camera and a 2megapixel camera right? was hoping she would win the jeans design competition but too bad heny won it instead. well, all the jeans that was displayed was REALLY good la. a certain "jeans skirt" was also nice by someone else



from left to right : meiry, angeline and erin. my fellow attributes bookstore mate.



thats me and andrew (abel's brother) eating our dinner/supper after the night session on the 3rd night. we were 2 really really hungry homosapiens enjoying the very very cold mixed rice.


i find this board very cool. it blinks the title of the conference every 2-3seconds and this was the title for ours. took me couple of tries to get the right timing for it to appear.


thats the and desmond from the singaporean emerge team. he's 24 and they say he looks like me, walk like me nad talk like me. HOWEVER....i was the cuter one according to the singaporean girls. haha!!!! *pls do not vomite. i whack this*




thats me and sarah - my south cluster leader alongside ibnu. she's really pretty in real life and too bad she's taken =( hahaha!!! plus, she's older than me. nah...im just kidding. but she's really nice =)


ok this photo im not too sure myself but i think its will tan performing on the 3rd night. i couldnt snap anthony's performance cuz i was sitting way back there and the lighting was very bad. i still think ant sings better than will. haha, he's my friend wad. hope his throat recovers soon.



thats harry on the go-kart en route to winning the gold medal on the no.7 car. some ppl might think he cheated cuz he was a lil slow when reporting to race cuz he was fine-tuning the car after david had some major prob with it. well anyway harry won it and on the right is him reciving the medal last night. i hope u can see him. it was 8X zoom with a camera phone. hehe.


this is my fav picture of all cuz its my custer shirt!! haha. the shirt which really has my sweat and blood in it and its yellow in colour. theres just something with me and yellow the past 7 years running. but look closely and u'll see.................*drum rolls*...ta-da....the singapore chc worship band's autograph. lol!!! i know vernard will kill me for it. but then when u look closely or even deeper, u'll see my feet. very stupid la tertook my feet in the process. =="

well, thats all the photos i took. still i know its not enuff. plus i didnt ask someone to snap me when i was onstage taking my medal. sigh...oh well. there's always 2007 emerge and more chances for me to grab more medals. hehe. nothing much left to blog for now. kinda tired still but i do have many things in my head now. with all those visions and dreams i see, i gotta do something bout it. but then, exams is bout 8 days away so there aint much i can do for now. dont wanna dissapoint my parents and especially both my cousins who has high expectation of me since they're risking their neck helping me behind my mum. haha