i wanna blog but dono what to blog about. i was so inspired to blog jus now during prayer meeting but now its all gone. gone like the wind. anyhow prayer meeting went well. glad i did go there instead of lazing around at home "trying" to study. 1st prayer meeting of the church and surely it was power packed!! man it was awesome...

wanna give an early shoutout to soon-to-be birthday girl doreen from my cell group in 20mins time. wishing u a great birthday this year with lots of love and blessings. dont date too much besok ohh....

lotsa things flowing thru my head now. there's bible study with jason coming up so i gotta prepare myself to be able to teach him. prob is he's a friend of mine so theres lotsa speculation that im not qualified to teach him. but then again i feel that this is a challenge for me. to be serious with God and to teach someone else don care fren or not. hopefully it'll go on well without causing any harm to the friendship since there might be a problem of teacheability.

then theres issues i need to talk with lee choo about. didnt expect it from her but seems like words got to her pretty fast. not saying members of the setapak cell is not trustworthy but after all, she is my leader and i should've been more accountable to her in the 1st place. seems like i only invited trouble on my door step. thankfully may shen advised me bout it. maybe it wont be that bad as i predicted tho. God, lead the way this time please...

5 credit hour paper is tomorrow morning!! woop pee dee...looking forward to it tho contrast to last week. studied bout it the past few days and it seems kinda easy or "okay" can do that kind when i did the tutorials but dont know how real is that when i actually sit for it. maybe im being confident now or maybe because im soo not prepared i cant even worry over it. haha...

they say behind every successful man there lies a strong woman. im not married so cant be a judge of that but if there's a teenager's version to it, it should sound like behind every gentleman there is a bunch of supporting female friends. something like that i suppose...so thanks again girls for the support. u know who u are...

2 papers down with 5 more to go. this weeks definitely gonna be crazy. really crazy
monday - english paper
tuesday - prayer meeting
wednesday - my nightmare paper
thursday - only free day
friday - cg outing + gmb concert
saturday - 2nd nightmare paper + serving
sunday - church


woop pee dee...with only thursday as free day, this is gonna be faith stretching. each week get stretch even more. hopefully when the year end adi my physical also stretch another 10cm. i feel short now....hahaha. i know some ppl will kill me when they read this. peace peace (^.^)v

exam starts

maths went superb...thank God i did

feeling hungry the whole and i want PIZZA
(hawaiian pizza that is)

next paper is saturday, wait...SATURDAY??

if i found out the person who made that timetable, he/she is dead

im broke finally after 3 months...haha...and it feels good to be poor

therefore im open to donations. minimum 50cents. TQ!!

i love the exam period, feels stress and tired yet fun when doing the paper :)

W20 again

to doreen & may shen & stella & see mei
, thanks for the pillar of support
and comfort - really appreciate it girls...
*muaks*

cell has finally multiplied after long weeks of anticipating and astoundingly, im still in the same cell after 2 multiplications. seems like theres something i have yet to fulfill in this cell group. felt that this time for sure i was gonna change to raymonds or may shen's cell but it didnt happen. i'm sure God has a reason for everything thats in front of me. having mixed feeling now in the past-multiplication time. whats more is tomorrow exam begins with maths as my 1st paper.

right timing? - only He knows...

i know i did study for the paper tomorrow, somehow i lack the confidence. not the confidence of not being able to write down or solve it. talking bout the confidence that comes from the support of friends and family. for sure i know i have the whole cell behind me, somehow i wish my family would take in much more concern in this. terence is busy saving lives in the surgery room or prescribing medicine, justin's busy playing ps2 or smoking, luiz - forget bout him. dad calls time to time, but not mum...wish mum was here to comfort me. ever since ah ma passed away its been different. lack the maternal support.

God why me?
why now?

its always much better after blogging. if i cant talk it out, least i got somewhere to grunt on. i love the fella who created this idea.

anyway. . .

9 hours till exam starts and im still wandering around - not wondering
argh!!!!

i wanna run a thousand miles
i wanna sleep 36hours non-stop
i wanna scream my lungs out on top of the hill
i wanna throw a hundred dollar bill away
i wanna kneel
i wanna punch someone
i wanna pin someone on the floor
i wanna sing a song out of tune
i wanna climb up the tree
i wanna fall down from the tree
i wanna drown (again)
i wanna work in the bank and rob all the money
i wanna meet osama and talk to him
i wanna hug someone tightly
i wanna hold someones hand and walk in the beach
i wanna see desperate housewives marathon
i wanna get 4.0 in my exams
.
.
.
.
what else do i want?
what do i really need?
ha. . . .

i need more of Him now in my life...

mix fortunes

cant reli sum up how today has been. if i could draw it it would look like a sin graph with ups and downs at every interval point. think thats the best way to describe how sunday has been. church was fantastic today seeing pastor back with the final installment in his sermon and it was really a good one. 8 foundations of life, hmm, prolly ill need to start looking more detail into this after my exam. And also to start doing the purpose drive life - AGAIN. Jason's got that book as his birthday gift, probably we can start together. Anyhow, today had lots of fun with cell as usual. Celebrated Jason's birthday officially alhtough we were 2 days late - who cares? janji ada cake - and the cake was seriously good. Imagine, mango cake that smells so good and taste even better but then still cant beat that strawberry paviova pastor showed. (= =)" God, that strawberry looked so juicy!!

P.S : sorry Jason, that part touched the cardboard so i "had" to eat it >.< the 2 fingers are mine while kelly looks blurry cuz she ran in while i snap. cheers~
There is suppose to be one with me inside but the "photographer" dunno use n93 so no pic.
In censorship - *@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#!!!!*

Here was something that amused me yesterday and got me thinking. If i ever thought i was not attractive then boy was i wrong. It was just that i've been attracting the wrong species all the while.

I've never particularly liked animals and especially scared/dislike/goosebumps over anything bigger than the length of my arm. Some of u prolly know why. But then i dont really fancy cats also besides Garfield - wish he was real!!! - and never played with them before but this one, this particular white roundy cute one came over me while i was waiting for doreen. It made 2 rounds of me sorta like to inspect me 0_O and then sat right in front of me. Later even worse. totally sleep on me. (-_-). Something is definitely wrong with me yesterday.

Exam starts in 4 days time and im still in the midst of preparing. Seems that im destined to do well if my heart really desires it. The stress clouding my head seems to have fade suddenly and now im kinda feeling upbeat bout it. Must be something to do with me going to church this morning and was in awe of God's presence that He lifted my burdens away w/o me knowing. Funny thing was i received a vision from God. Not really a vision but it first came from a word. I wass reminded of a snake. A snake at each seasons grows a new skin and comes out from its predecessor. I felt i was reminded it was my time to shed my skin once again and move into a fresh start once more this time. It was like my skin has been damaged here and there through the past few months that God is in control and He is here to take it away and restore me to my prime. I was really in awe of it. Truly amazing of Him.

exercise!!!

today is a special day for a good friend of mine since it is after all, his birthday. this is how my friend looks like. :)


he looks a bit funny right? haha. Anyway, happy birthday jason tham!! this year being 20 means more responsibility and your older and hopefully wiser. Still, i dont understand why you're one part indonesian. It seems the only thing that connects you to indon is your skin colour. (= =)". Anyway, God bless and have a fruitfull year ahead of you this year.

====================================================

done with intro...

finally had the chance to chat with erin after what seems to be so long. miss her kicking my butt each time i talk to her bout my relationship or raging hormones problems. wonder if i could another like her if i ever go overseas or anything unforseen happens...

someone wise told me this today. ceilings are like a bar in your life. when you almost touch the ceiling, break it and build a higher one. i felt that im being challenged by God now to go another level higher in my life. we're not meant to be in our comfort zone forever. not to say being in comfort zone is bad but its good. after all, God wants the best for us. however i feel its not my time yet. and the past 2 nights i could recall clearly what kinda christian i was previously. a name-tag one that is who seems holy on weekends in service but when im at school or at home or playing tennis, im just the ordinary bad-ass kid a teenager can be. cant say im too proud of it but i DID have a great time then with james, evan and so forth. but its maturity that has brought me to where i am now. who am i. what im doing. and as i was chatting with erin i got reminded bout the book - purpose driven life. feel that i gotta read it one more time and this time, DO IT!!!

was thinking in the shower earlier, would doing push ups and sit ups daily as part of a new physical approach regime help build my small lil stick body frame? i fear that i finally realise ( after the long winding years ) that im seriously thin. for a guy that is. no wonder fail to tackle a girl la cuz im so thin. yeeeeeeee!!!!

being indecisive

they say a picture speaks a thousand words and i guess they really mean what. life has been good past few weeks with things everywheregoing smoothly.

*the "bookies" is doing well with the new members

*cell has been more and more fun with each week

*semester is ending today but there's still exam to face

*get to go back kk in few weeks time

*doing well financially altho i lost money previously

and justin conned me rm40

well to put it in short - life's good :)

i mean why not? i've go God with me - so cliche -_-

exams next week and tbh, the amount of stress is starting to pile up on me. 6 days till maths paper and the night before that is multiplication. gosh. its the same thing as emerge last year but this time theres just a stir in my stomach bout something different in the attitude im preparing myself for exam this semester. no brags but its the toughest and major semester in my diploma year so bad or good it falls on this exam. hahaha. gonna need lots and lots of prayer to overcome this semester. feel that im lacking SERIOUSNESS in my life now. bla bla bla...

goodie day~

wahahhahahahahahahaha....i can feel kylie minogue's song - i cant get you outta my head - is playing round and round in my head @@. all thans to doreen and stella for rminding me bout cheryl the entire afternoon. God, shes pretty i have to admit. with that sweet smile, long brown hair, pointy nose and slim figure-she is a lil too thin tho but still non-aneroxic material. plus, she's the prettiest in the cell also. haha. its like theres just this new adrenaline rush i have in my head and flowing all over my body each time i see her or talk to her. but then dont have the guts to ask her for her msn o number. geez...why must God make some man a coward? haha...too bad now is not reli a good time to think about it.exams in 2 weeks and ive got more serious things to settle.

but looking on the bright side, quite some good things are happening. for starters erin's not going back but i haven been talking to her lately. weekdays im in college and weekends shes busy with choir.hmm. im promoted to shift leader and im reli feeling wad angeline was feeling back then. the stress, fun and work in the package. man tats something i need to embark on. then things a going great with mum and lee choo. didnt know i could click with her and we could talk in msn bout things altho im still a lil nervous when chatting with her. time can only make things better i suppose. guess when things are startin to happen around me i should be "upgrading" myself to "adapt".

i was thinking the other day...for a women to cure sadness or depression, they have
-Chocolates
-Shopping spree!!!
-Soft toys
-Gal pals
-Fancy dinner in somewhere really expensive
-go island/travel

what about man?
-beer and getting drunk
-buying expensive electronic gadgets
-play/see a ball game

i got stuck here for men but so far this 3 is kinda hard to fulfill or it wont do any good. getting drunk gives me 2 days tops of hangover. buying will puncture a hole in the credit card while seeing a game for example would cost a lotta money. we're talking live english football matches for example. its like tough being a guy sometimes. except the fact we dont spend 1hr preparing ourselves. (some man are developing so. i take 45mins average)

multiplying

its that time again where we usher ourselves into a whole new year. 2006 has gone and here comes 2007 at our feet. kinda upbeat bout this year tho since i finally hit the big 20. haha. remembere there was a sermon preached by pastor bout ending the year on a high instead of takg a break so that we can start the new year without wasting time to pick ourselves from a rested state. something like that la. think it was last years sermon. haha. i seriously felt i ended on a high tho in 2006 learning so many things in ministry, bonding better in cell group that w're gonna multiply in 2 weeks time. awesome!! and along the way got blessed abundantly. nov and december was some faith stretching month i experienced. gosh...things are just happening since i joined this church!!

recently got blessed with an ipod nano from mum. so happy she bought me one. now its music everywhre i go and i actually have a proper music player apart from using my own phone as a music player. yeah. its so thin and nice that im scared i would break it into half accidentally myself one day >.< . then got a new phone too from bro. the long awaited nokia n93. its like so huge and may shen says it looks like a shaver. thanks~ haha. pretty much happy i have everything i wanted and now i guess i can start spending money to shop shop shop!! CNY is next month so gotta look good when i go back kk.

exams in 3 weeks or so time. feeling a lil stressed and worried if i wont be able to do it this time. but then i realise i like to doubt or fret over small things. hmm thats bad. but then its gonna be another tough season of exam-ming again. 7 papers this time thanks to a resit paper which i still cant overcome previously!! argh...

cell was great jus now. 1st cg of the year and it was good to meet again. today got new member cheryl. kinda pretty and just 19. haha!!! so fast aim ppl liao..wad is this -_- . but then now cg's gonna be different cuz gonna start collecting offering and paying for the van. challenging times are ahea this year thats why the theme for this year is faith and courage. gotta cultivate this in the cell for breakthru's to happen. ill be challenged greatly too tho since there will be so many things thats gonna require my commitment. hopefully im up to the task.

gonna end here for now. gotta do quiet time and study....