beautiful~

finally it is known in the cell group that we have a problem. it took them like 1 year to realise that? a lil slow but least they realise it now. better late than never one might say. so now in the midst of restructuring, replanning, reconfiguring and reestablishing the cell group core and members. sounds a lil too long winded. anyway looking forward to improvements in ties between cell members to make it a much nicer place to go. =P

oh ya i need to think of an ice breaker for wed's cell. suprisingly not michael or timothy thats doing it now. hmm...better fix something quick and real good. =)

today angeline nearly pecah in front of elycia. kinda funny tho being in the middle. 1 so naive 1 trying to calm down. 2nd time ady elycia didnt turn up for duty and only realise it right before service starts. bad bad girl ^^". luckily they both managed to keep their heads and nth major happened. poor angeline, sudahlah exam now, still wanna fan over todays service. sigh...next months gonna be even worse since only 4 person on duty or should i say available. mmg lack of manpower now. or isit womenpower? o.O"

oh ya, today is truely a super beh tahan beautiful sunday. we jus anggap the whole sunday limited to the time in church arr. everyone looked gorgeous today ( referring to the females that is ) wen dee looked adorable in that white shirt and skirt, esther as hot as usual, wan yeng looked funky in sleeveless and cargo pants, and someone looked so blueu with that permed hair that ultimately made me went gaga. i mean i couldnt even utter out hi. *slaps self* ok back to normal. if u read this part and feel like harming me in any way, jus anggap u never read it before. thx =)

off to beddie now, not really tired but have a long day in class later. sigh. why must i be a student now!!! i dun wanna go college!!!

beavis & butthead!!

read mamayo's blog today and man can that girl blog!! specially like her disclaimer. so original. btw its www.xanga.com/momoyo if u wanna have a read. its good stuff seriously.

now this got me thinking. why are foul words so fitting in almost every sentence we speak out? i remember doing a debate with james on this before since he's the F word pro. etc:

- man the weather is fcking hot now
- who the fck told you we going to yam cha?
- why the fck is she taking so long to do her make up?
- i totally fcked up my law paper

see what i mean? it so fits into almost anything we say!! the ironic part is that the F word is intented for sex, not in our everyday speech. yet everyones saying it. heck even some christians i know say it when we're having a ball and theres no other "holier christians" around keeping a tab on us. so im thinking, why the FCUK am i so tempted to say it? haha. used to have that bad habit but kicked it since it nearly wrecked me and evelyn (p.s : girl i miss u loads!!!) now its coming back to me due to ppl around me constantly saying it. heck my bro's good with that word. my gaming frens use it to replace hi. any anonymous blog uses that word to express him/herself. EVERY FCKING PERSON IS USING IT!!! good i said it whole heartedly. now i feel much better.

still i hate the word cb, mcb, ccb, knn, snn and etc...the hokkien ones i think. chinese origin. =|

finally found a song which i longed for months. it turned out to be wang lee homs song titled Di Yi Ge Qing Chen. someones caller tunes is that song. i think its her. maybe i shud keep calling her from now onwards? scared she reject tho. =(

i jus t realised something. omg!!!
===========================
* i love being in denial *

in front of my mums frens i deny im tall and skinny
in front of my kk church friends i deny i dont drink and am a very goodie boy
in front of lecturers i deny doing wrong and always blame someone
in front of parents i deny im a bad kid at home or college
in front of aunt i deny bout why i dont bring my clothes to wash

NEWS FLASH : im not perfect. thank you for trying to understand that. ^^v dun worry tho, i found a reason to change myself. * and u start hearing hoobastank - the reason * too bad blogspot cannot do that if not reli i put that song in. cheers~

i think the worst thing i did today was making the whole cell outing cancelled cuz me and kok rui decided to do some last minute fong fei kei's. AND WE DID IT!! haha. but then end up making ourselves wake up at 8.30 to go for prayer meeting. 8.30 arrive that is. stoo-pid me. rather sacrifice at night so that can play all night long till dawn. now i need to wake up early and drag my 2 skinny legs there. i asked for it.

budgeting is the toughest thing to do in ur life. well 1 of them that is. figuring out my expenses now to muster up enuff money for that freaking expensive n93 and fulfilling my tithes. hmm...gonna need a miracle in this =)

last but not least, a huge thank you to erin for naming the bunnies. Beavis @ the brains and Butthead @ the dumbo. its reli wicked and cool. funky too and it fits em both nicely. now i need to find out the gender. she mentioned something bout find the wabbits "BALLS". erm...im a bit harr? by that method. oh ya, someone else can call them jack jack and jill jill. ;) jus that someone that is >.>

dragging myself to bed now...ta~

wabbits not rabbits

i never thought paris hilton can sing. well, all this due to her bitchy attitude in a way and her BFF craze with nicole richie. plus i didnt like her 1st single "stars are blind"'. but then her 2nd single is pretty good. she looks hot in the video, has a catchy tune and brings a positive message in the video so heck? whats not to like.

today i declare as the official start of my 2nd sem. since all the hols here and there interrupts and not many ppl were back yet. but im beginning to muster back my studying mood to go thru this sem again promised lee choo to do 1 step better now in my studies. can be a testimony to others that while u serve God, u an still do well in everythin else. "put Me first and everything else shall be added unto you" matthew kah or somewhere that verse from? ahaha. poor memory of mine so i cant reli memorise everything bout something. >.>

oh wait..gotta blog nicer if not kena misinterpret by erin. eeks. and remember coffee is the dog or bear ar in the car? i think bear. dun remember seeing a poochie anywhere in the car. opsie daisy.

only 10 more days to seeing mum!! i miss my mummie. well not just that shes my wallet to shopping and a new ipod but erm....i reli miss her. haha. still so happy i get to see her on "my day". cant remember i last celebrated with her. always dump me money and kick me out to party with friends. @@ good in a way tho...haha. can do anything bad and no ones there to lecture u. yeah baby

darn rabbit scratched me like mad today. so scared he will run out of the window when i carried him/her. still trying to find out the gender tho. got any tips? will be a great help to me. also how to take care wabbits not rabbits. haha!!!

loop eared wabbit

a show that is a must see is grey's anatomy. not jus it has award winning actor and actresses in it but the show is soo uber good. haha. no wonder my bro got hooked to it badly. jus nows episode was bout a very troubled female doc where everything jus falls in her life yet in the very end she was able to stand up after being honest with herself and everyone else and instead of running away, she confronted everything. well, i feel and i know ( correct me if im wrong ) that this kinda overcoming only happens in the movies while in real life we jus stay there and keep on wishing for a miracle to happen. thats not solving i say. thats plain sad. oh well, nth reli major happened to me apart from godmum's death which i also overcame so im pretty good myself. jus now talkin to mel got me thinking. nth bad has happened to me before. no illness, no pains, no natural disaster, no mental abuse ( well there is some niggle as we grow up. boys will be boys right? ) practically no nothing. sure i have minor stuffs like studies, debts, relationship prob but thats kinda small compared to reality. but this is sufficient for me to know that all this can only happen as ive got a big guy behind me. heck only bad things happen to me when daddy's lil boy gets naughty here and there. who dont? pfft...but i know no matter how deep 1 person maybe, theres ALWAYS a way out. just gotta penetrate thru the barrier and only you yourself knows best ;)

justin got his phone today. the brand new nokia n93. this can only mean that imma get mine soon. looking forward to it in a months time. yeah baby. but suddenly i jus dont want a new phone. ive got a good one with me right now by far the most expensive in my possesion. rm1600 is not little when ur giving that much to spend. i rather have that money to shop and buy some other stuffs. too bad i lost my phone previously. haha.

i finally went to asianbookie.com today!!! feel bad for myself now getting related to betting. but then wasnt me who bet but helping law to do a lil "research" for the matches just now. promised myself not to ever bet even a single cent in my life anymore and imma stick to it. especially after losing a 4 digit sum previously which already placed my own arse in a black hole. never wanna go thru that again in my life. @@"

oh ya got a new pet today. well 2 actually. 2 loop eared rabbit. God they're uber dorable. lazy wanna upload some pics of them since its so early in the morning now fyi. still thinking what to name them maybe i can go with :

- mahathir and badawi
- nokia and motorola
- road runner and bugs bunny
- pak cham kai and siu kai ( white chicken and roasted chicken cuz 1 of them has white paws )
- fan cheong 1 and fan cheong 2

haha...all are lame names i know. 1st time i get to jaga pets so looking forward to it. since im the one home most of the time as both couz need to work. so i gotta feed em, play em, shower? or even give them classes. LOL. that was a very lame idea from couz's bf. music classes, poetry classes, athletics and etc? >.> never mind...

22/23 - 10 - 06

*yawn*...here i go again blogging when im least energetic or being enthusiastic bout it. anyway i jus realised blogging is somewhere i can reli bare all, or bare nothing at all. we live once only so why not stretch till the limits? a lil fun wont hurt much couldnt it? sucker!!!

this months hot issue did a cover on celebs who blog and aome ppl who blog and became famous. hmm...i highly doubt that i can be one of those who blogs and get famous. im freaking lazy even as im blogging now. ppl like hilary duff, pamela anderson, moby and the list goes on. even britney told the world shes pregnant in her blog. kewl. maybe i can start bitching on ppl i dun like here and totally dont give a crap bout em? sounds evil enuff to me. ^^

today is (or shud i say was) pledge sunday and boy does kelvin dislikes giving excessive money out anywhere. but hey, im on a high now after giving my tithe so don bring me down yet and grab the opportunity while im on a spending spree!~ .felt bad tho when we did the mock pledge in cg and now that i did it again ( u know, change the figures here and there and wa-la!) and got pretty good with myself. jus happy imma gonna give xxx amount. still wondering where ma money coming from? maybe i shud take on justin's advice and plant a money tree. better than cactus or a bonzai tho.

another special thing bout today is that i get to meet evan in church on sunday for the 1st time in kl. we go to the same primary-secondary high school, youth, play the same sport, hang out with the same ppl and know each others parents but we never went to the same sunday service. so today was a first and it still keeps me laughing bout it. why? i dunno. it jus amuses me somehow. >.<

hmm...saw her today in church as usual and suprisingly i dindt even get a chance to say hi or at least a decent good morning and have a good day that usual. hmm...somethings fishy. and when i turn to look vroom!!! she teleports from 1 location to another like the transponder in star trek. haha. being a lil sci-fi-ed now.didnt even saw her face!! how amusing that was. 1 sec look at her back and then turn left. and when turn right again ta-da!! jus like magic. vanished into thin air. hmm...getting "the treatment" again i suppose. oh well. if she's only gonna acknowledge me when she needs me for her assignment purposes then so be it. if not im like a useless toy a kids bored of. pfft...know wad. we need to have a bachelors party. or a set up date thingy. now where's' erin when u need her? oh erin!!~~ where r u??!~

its raya tomorrow so wishing alll u a happy greeny raya and have a wonderful green festive season. i know im gonna be bored at home doing nth but gaming to fill my time. i need a hobby seriously and i need more friends in kl. eek!!!

P.S : im lazy in giving a title for each blog unless something strikes me so imma stick with dates. they're the simplest. haha. and btw, open season is a good laugh. reli worth it to see to release stress. too bad panda didnt go with me today. wanna study wor at home kononnya. haha

nervous-ing

results are out in the morning tomorrow 10am. im worried sick to my stomach. im scared if i failed programming paper or science 3 paper. other 4 im confident of passing. still, the thought of failing 1 will kill me off mentally inside as i plan to get all pass. specifically 2A 2B 2C = average all B's and thats very good. at least to me that is. jus that now im shaking all over inside and no one is here to comfort me with my tenses. no one's online now amazingly and im sick of playing games to take my mind away. sick of everything now due to results tomorrow. heres a 2 way scenario for tomorrow

if pass:
-pierce ear
-get back my internet line
-parents happy which makes me even more happy
-full of mood to see evan this weekend
-will be a stepping stone towards my dreams of further studies
-totally showing how amazing God can be
-very likely water baptism this saturday morning

if fail (being 1 or more):
-parents screw me
-im gonna be depressed
-no more internet line tho im paying my own now
-possible move to aunts place for better observation
-no pierce, shopping or jalan jalan with evan
-stopping ALL activities( ALL!!!) to get my head fixed. includes brainwash and reformatting

right now i just cant think further. i jus realised how sucky my position is life. spiritually that is. doubting everything i know but somehow the verse from hebrews bout faith being the substance not seen and _____ keep knocking my head. i dont know really. wads happening? someone help me...before i realy blow off totally. God...where art thou?

flyin to 2nd home

flying back to kl in couple of hours and cant believe time passed so fast. so fast that i just realised 2 days ago im going back and semesters starting on monday. sigh. dont know shud be happy or not jus that so many things happening this past few weeks making my heart heavy when making decisions being small or big. the other day mum was telling me after diploma go australia. kinda shocking but happy for me. now when i think of it. am i ready to go there? so many ppl i know all over malaysia and i dont know if i can let go o not. plus, im bad in keeping in touch. now also barely with mel and cheryl abroad. plus my own 2 bro's in uk. if i cant handle 4, how 2 handle many more? haha oh well. but then if reli can go, ill not think twice bout it but go. it'll be a darn good experience for me. plus i get to see mel and al and cyn there eating strawberry and ice cream together in the cold. haha~

couldnt help ma bro do his tix today to come back kk so a bit disappointed. not that failed in not able to help but disappointed it might affect my chances to get a new phone. haha!! looking forward to a new n93 or something similar in the coming weeks or so. yea yea. im being so materialistic lately. told my mum i wanted an ipod nano/shuffle/video and she said see 1st la~ which is near equivalent to ok. parents and their ego in front of their kids. who can blame them? still happy i get to celebrate with my mum on that day itself. purposely flying over to see me (^.^)v.

results out next week thursday. evan's coming on thursday. the movie open season is released ALSO on thursday. gosh. thursday is definitely a happening day. but then no matter wad. its gonna be a good week i know for sure!! gonna get good results!! see my best bud!!! and see that darn cute beaver in the movie. gosh its so uber-dorable!!!!!! feel like buying one. hahaha. beneath every man/woman theres an inner child. just that we lock 'em when we're older. mines still on the loose. >.<

its coming to an end of the year. gosh time passed really fast eh? i kept thinking the time i made the new year resolution in cell group and now, its bout to end. im so gonna be embarrassed when eunice comments bout our resolution. especially mine. wrote loadsa craps in it. haha. mum's back now. tata~

chasing cars

3 reasons i shudnt be blooging now :
-its 5.15am
-mums gonna be awake anytime now
-the weather is raining so its REALLY good to sleep

but then i vowed to blog before bedtime so i guess i somehow gotta make it up for wad i promised myself. lately nth much happened since everyones home or not in kk anymore. those at home are due to pokai-ness and no car to go out. kinda lame excuse right? sigh. kk-ians. haha. went bowling today so was really really happy. i mean REAL. i love bowling so much jus that not many ppl share this passion with me. boo hoo!!! u suckers out there better start bowling asap. kinda rusty at the 1st game but found my form again the 2nd game so was pretty happy with it (^.^)v then head down to yoyo for yamcha and stayed there till near 6. kinda good afternoon for me. hehe.

yest (10 oct) is angeline's birthday and today(11oct is my bro and cyn small bday). gosh so many ppl bday now. so jus wanna wish u 3 a big big happy birthday. there will be many more to come. and bro, pls dont get drunk. ur a nisance when u are. >.> shudnt be going out tomorrow with cyn small dono doing wad so jus gonna be really spontaneous tomorrow afternoon. argh!!! busy busy day ahead. need do so many things jus dunno where to start nor end :(

hehe, am excited at the prospect of getting a n93 from ma bro but gotta wait till dec. that is if all goes well. if not better make him get me another phone. hohox. bored with mine now so need something new to spice things up a lil. plus i kinda miss nokia phones now since my 7610. haha.

lately been addicted to playing online game now with ma game gang. i played ares with them, i still play dota with them and now ryl. gosh so many games. haha. jus hope i still be able to manage ma time well when back in kl so i wont screw up ma next sem. but then results for sem 1 is out on the 19th which is a thursday. its day after cg so hope got some miracle works from God to relieve me of my worriedness now. im not suppose to doubt and im telling myself that but then i super doubt lagi more now. sigh....jus pray all goes well. ^^v

gtg sleep now....mums eta to waking up in 5 mins or so!!! dont want to 1st thing in the morning for her is to bomb me. not good u know as a potential "good-son". hahaha!!!!! tata~

sweet vanilla

i find house to be a really good show while nip/tuck is a bad bad lame show. still i watch both cuz im bored. anyway didnt go out at all today except for the dinner for aunt kath's hudband. jason is sick, juliana's doing something, alvin was free but ant was ... doing something or very free also i suppose. so end up staying at home today. crap. the dinner was good. i mean real good not jus cuz of the good food but more than that. get to meet all those aunt's again. above all, the bonus was meeting aunt kath's daughter vivian. God, why did u made women so damn fine!! haha. as the months and years past by the more i see her the hotter she can only become and shes only 23. haha. well it was nice to meet her again after half a year or more and jus talked. except that the bf was a lil disturbing sitting there being so quiet. ish. had 2 cups of jack daniels and to be honest, i still cant like it yet. chivas is okay but i still find jack daniels a lil too kick for me. i think ill stick to red wine. man i can go on all day with wine. (^^)v at the end it was a really a nice dinner. one that i did not keep wishing im home or was somewhere doing something/anything apart from this. yeah!

gonna go back kl soon. next week to be precise on saturday evening. so its gonna be freaking tiring for me. back at night round midnight then morning wake up go church. oh well. i cant be whining now can i?

wondering how my results is gonna turn up this time. i gotta admit i cheated in the last paper but i was really studying jus too much too memorise. woops. couple of days ago or 1 week ++ i dreamt i was gonna get 2A 2B 2C. this brings to an average of all B giving me a 3.0 cgpa. its like a super boost in my results. just the one im looking for actually. so now im gonna believe in it to come true. but its been a struggle to not doubt that to happen. i mean its said that if i believe in my heart and have not even a single doubt then it shall come to pass. right now, ive doubt it a couple of times. sigh...

mel bought a new perfume which smells sweet vanilla-ish. sounds good to me but im still mesmerised or hynotized by her in dior addict 2. haha...jus something between me and her. come to think of it, she and i really clicked. haha. and when she had to asked me that "Q" or said "that thing" it got me thinking till now....why not? God....i need some directions pls. am pretty lost in wad to do or wads right.

oh ya....gonna miss erin's moonie cakie party this fri. ARGH!!!! why me!!! why friday!!!! why!!!! man u better leave me some memories from that party erin!!! i wanna be updated!!!