i wonder...a blog is suppose to be a place for u to rant all u want for free and its suppose to be personal. but the fact that its on the net makes it public whether u like it or not. and worst part is if u wanna blog something really personal but ur scared if someone else u dont trust reads it acidentally or purposely in some cases and boom!! there goes all ur deepest darkest secrets. in that case we should blog it somewhere else right? someone secluded and private without anyone knowing. but that would just clash with the purpose of an online blog. so the big Q is, should a person blog on the net bout everything they wanna release or just keep the major juicy bits inside their heart and shape it into a round ball and release it big time when we run out of space. jus thinking bout that cuz lately theres a lotta stuffs i wanna release here but jus worry if the wrong person sees it.

G-R-E-A-T

someone told me lately this. when good things are starting to happen, more good things will follow up. but then last week someone else told me when good things starts to happen to one part in ur life, the devil strikes back in either another angle or another issue. experience the both of them but its the 2nd statement that bothers me. why so?

cuz right now, i got stabbed right at the front from a good friend of mine. the thing is, he realise what he's doing and he's still doing it. isnt that amazing? when i heard it from him i tell u i was like totally fired up instead of being sick in bed. thought of slamming my mouse into the wall or something like that but thankfully i didnt. he is kinda doing the right thing for me now but its kinda hard to swallow it atm.

it always amazes me why leaders are called leaders. becuz they are wiser and have better advices in tough times and definitely more experienced. obviously, strong in their faith. so thats wad i kinda feel bout a leader. when he/she tells u how to do it, u jus keep on saying yes and say that u understand wad u need to do. problem is, u wont really know what to do or how to deal with it when wad u need to do is happening without u doing anything. kinda wad im feeling now. its happening and its tough to deal with it.

i know i cant put on a mask a smile bout it cuz i would only lie to myself so i should have a better chance if i deal with it. maybe thats what ive been doing wrong all this while, get so soaked up in emotions that i cant do the rational thing. im not being eyes wide open now. i cant see the bigger picture. i cant understand it. but that isnt gonna happen anymore....i like to call it this way, its time to face my own demons. kick their bad butts along the way too.

now i feel much better...

blogging always cheers me up. it used to be bowling and chocolates. since i cant bowl in kl and being sick means no chocolates so im left with blogging. Thats one good thing to be happy over today...hopefully more to come...